The Big Sell
A Short Story by Shaun A. Saunders
Image by David Dees | deesillustration.com
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Driving home from another hard day at the office, George decided that he needed a quick snack. Perhaps it was the relentless drone of advertising playing on the car radio, or the army of billboards marching along the motorway, but somewhere deep in his mind, there was a thought that he deserved a bite. Now.
Obediently, George pulled off the highway at the next FabCola Family Restaurant, and although he had been in a hurry to get home to his wife and baby daughter, he chose counter service over drive-through.
“Fabulous day Sir!” said the exuberant young waitress behind the gleaming counter. “How can I help you this afternoon?”
For an instant, annoyance surfaced at the back of George’s mind – what else on earth could the girl do for him other than take down his order for a serve of fast-food? But this feeling quickly dissolved in a sensory overload of primary colours, odours, catchy music and softly murmured words that caressed his senses, while his conscious self – the George the public interacted with – was barely aware of it at all.
“Uh, a small french fries and a pineapple cola will do thanks.”
“Sir,” the assistant answered, her eyelashes flashing, “did you know that for just three ninety-five you could have all that plus a cheese burger in our special ChockaMeal pack?”
Without further thought, George decided that this was good value, even though dinner would be waiting at home. Stomach gurgling, mouth watering, it seemed so sensible. “Oh, OK.”
“Of course, if you’re burger man, you might be interested in our Triple Fab Special with Ham, Bacon and Double Extra-Cheese…”
She made ‘burger man’ sound the same as rodeo star, or daredevil extraordinaire, and George was beginning to like the thousand-watt beam of her constant smile.
He smiled back. “Why not!”
Delighted at George’s decision, she expounded, “As a sign of our commitment to health, each Triple Fab Special comes with a free cholesterol check! If you’d like to take a seat, our health consultant will be with you shortly.”
She motioned George to a nearby booth, where he found a FabCola nurse already waiting for him.
“Sir,” she announced happily, “You can eat as many burgers as you please! Your cholesterol is fine!”
“Great,” said George, his stomach rumbling louder, “because – ”
“And for healthy people like you, we have a special free health insurance policy!” Sincerely, “It’s our way of saying ‘thankyou’ to our regular customers!”
George had never actually been to a FabCola restaurant before, but what the heck – who would pass up a free insurance policy? He signed immediately.
The nurse, also dressed in primary colours, clapped excitedly.
“Now it’s time for your mandatory health screening,” and orderlies dressed as clowns bustled a stunned and still hungry George into a waiting FabCola delivery truck.
It was a week before George left the FabCola Family Hospital with an “all clear – come back next year for another routine check-up,” a second mortgage and minus several body parts after pre-emptive surgeries: “Helping you ‘live a better tomorrow today’”, the FabCola doctors explained. George had never realised just how dangerous modern living and fast food could be to his health.
Still, when the cab passed a FabCola Family Restaurant on the way home, his stomach growled obediently and George found he couldn’t resist...
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