After decades of contentious litigation and attempts by concerned citizens to put a damper on genetic modification of the nation's food supply, the Supreme Court has tossed consumer advocates a big juicy bone, ruling in Monsteranto vs. California that GM foods must be labeled.

"Studies have shown that, as of January 2042, more than 93% of the nation's food supply and wild vegetation is genetically modified, whether intentionally, or as the result of gene drift or aerial GM pollination initiatives," noted the majority in the sharply divided 5-4 opinion.  "We believe consumers have an absolute right to know which foods contain GM ingredients -- particularly consumers in the top 1% of the income bracket who can still afford to buy organic non-GM foods."

The winning California legal team and assorted judicial insiders were primarily funded by the Supergreen Coalition of Caring, a national consumer advocacy group devoted to greater transparency in food labeling, and less transparency in the funding of consumer advocacy groups.  Said Supergreen spokesman Luke Worum:

"We're not scientists -- we're consumer advocates.  We simply take the commonsense position that consumers have a right to know what's in their food, without unduly hindering progress in the biotech industry.  The decades-long battle for GM labeling has been win-win for all involved, providing citizens with a warm, fuzzy feeling from helping to instigate change, lawyers with opportunities for lucrative litigation, and the biotech industry with time to irreversibly saturate the nation with GM crops and chemical pesticides."

Monsteranto spokesman Frank Underhand said the biotech giant is reluctantly resigned to the Court's ruling, and expressed gratitude to the Federal Reserve for its generous 2024 bailout, which provided the biotech industry with much-needed funds to continue its relentless legal battles, while spreading the miracle of genetic modification and terminator seeds throughout every nation too weak, poor, passive or corrupt to fight it.  Said Underhand:

"Our major concern from the beginning has been that large numbers of unusually aware citizens would characterize GM crops as a nationwide threat, and demand the federal government put a stop to them.  We faced that challenge, unsuccessfully, in a number of other countries where we just didn't have the right inside connections and PR power. 

"The 'just label it' movement has been instrumental in diverting attention to less threatening and more easily managed avenues.  There were a number of attempts by isolated counties and states to ban GM crops, of course, but we mustered the resources and government collaborators to overcome them."

Monsteranto and other major players in the biotech industry have demonstrated their entrepreneurial flexibility in the face of never ending challenges.  Said Underhand:

"We've expanded our operations to include several major processed food manufacturing concerns.  Our Science Based Food line has proven be be quite popular among adult self-identified sophisticated consumers, while our Frankenfood brand has been very successful with the kids, with the help of our line of Franken action figures and video games.

"We've also teamed up with major charitable foundations to ensure that efforts to fight cancer and other serious health problems are focused on finding pharmaceutical cures, rather than on finding the causes.  Based on numerous unpublished studies, efforts to identify the causes could prove to be quite inconvenient, not only for the biotech industry, but for a number of other lucrative industries as well, including the pharmaceutical industry itself."